I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Randomize
