It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
