My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize