Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
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