No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
