So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize