Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
