just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
