i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
