problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
