Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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