I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
