Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
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Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
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id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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