Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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