Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
