The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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