Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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