i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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