hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I smell like Dick and happiness
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
