she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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