That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
