So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
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I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
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My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize