sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
