its not stalking. its research.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
