i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
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You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
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I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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