think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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