Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize