we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
