I want to have your abortion
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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