I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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