I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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