Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
