don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
