We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
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