Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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