i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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