omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
