i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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