well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
We need a shit load of segways right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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