Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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