You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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