I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Randomize
