you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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