She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
