Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
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He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
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I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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