Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
