Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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