Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
