dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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