Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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