Little spoons don't ask big questions
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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