dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
