At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
