NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
its not stalking. its research.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
