I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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