what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
