I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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