Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
