jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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