Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
